I set out to write a post about abundance and I realized I still had work to do with my limiting beliefs. I realized that they are very close; you cannot have an abundance mindset if you let your limiting beliefs define you.
Limiting beliefs come from a scarcity mindset.
Understanding the concept of a scarcity mindset made me realize why I struggled to identify my limiting beliefs. As I mentioned in my post all about limiting beliefs, I have always struggled with identifying my own because I am not a person who has the constant negative companion in my head feeding me negative thoughts and defining my self-worth. I actually think I have a pretty healthy self-worth and for a lot of my life, have really excelled at anything I put my mind to. I believed in myself, I set out to do things, and I did them.
But then something changed. I don’t know what it is…I was closing in on the big Three Zero, I was dumped by a guy I thought was the one, I wasn’t in a place career wise that made me happy anymore…
This all really left me questioning my judgment and my life choices, something I had never had to, or felt I needed to do up until that point.
Maybe it was the job, the looming birthday, the breakup, but I felt so lost and so unsure of myself. I had always felt that the word was my oyster and I could have or be or do anything. I had an abundance mindset. And then in that year I slipped into a scarcity mindset. I started to wonder if I really could do, be or have anything and everything, I questioned my choices, my career, my life. I looked for answers…I started grad school thinking a change would help me in life and career. I started going to a bible study group hoping to reconnect with my spirituality. I moved to a new town and tried to start over. I had a new boyfriend who I tried to change in to my last one. I started to lose myself, my confidence, my finances, my grip on my self-worth.
As I write this now, I realize that this came, not from limiting beliefs about who I was and what I should/could do but from a mindset of scarcity:
I didn’t have enough
I wasn’t good enough
I didn’t have enough time
I didn’t have enough money
I didn’t have enough control
My life was limited to my bad choices
I made wrong choices
This was all a scarcity mindset. A mindset that began to define me as I turned 30, lost my mom, finished grad school, went into debt, got married, had a baby…
And now here I am six years later wondering what, and why, and how I am holding myself back.
What happened? Who am I?
I have tried to focus on limiting beliefs to understand where I went wrong and I realize it wasn’t one thought, or 20, that held me back, it was my overall mindset that shifted from growth and abundance to scarcity, control and fear. Thus every thought and action and my very being was out of whack because it was all coming from a place of not enough, of scarcity and fear.
I did not need to find a particular belief about myself that was limiting me in order to change my life, I needed to change my whole frame of mind back to an abundance mindset.
My quest now is how to reframe my mind to one of abundance. To a place where I understand that there is
To go around. For everyone. I don’t need to be in fear. I do not need to control. I need to let go and trust that we live in an abundant universe and that anything and everything is possible and available. I did this in my own life by spending a lot of time thinking and writing. In the process I created the Abundance Worksheet which helped me enormously! And I offer it free for you!
Things I have learned on this journey back to ABUNDANCE:
How to spot a scarcity mindset:
A scarcity mindset is one of fear, insecurity, and control. Of taking things to seriously believing that if you fail the world will end. It is short sided and focused on short term decisions, instant gratification and a reactive approach to life, rather than planning ahead and trusting that waiting or missing something now will pay-off long term.
How to spot an abundance mindset:
An abundance mindset comes from a place of trust and acceptance, and a deep sense of inner worth and security. An abundant mindset takes a pro-active approach to life. A person with an abundance mindset understands that there is more than enough love, time, money, happiness etc. to share and does so freely and happily, rejoicing in other’s accomplishments and giving of their love, time, money, happiness, etc. openly and with joy.
How to cultivate an abundance mindset
GET YOUR FREE ABUNDANCE WORKSHEET HERE
1.State the facts vs the thoughts
Understanding your scarcity mindset starts with understanding your scarcity thoughts. Thoughts are feelings and emotions that are completely optional and separate from the facts. A fact is: I weigh 150 lbs. A thought is: I should way less, I way too much.
2. Identify what you are making these thoughts mean and why
What are you choosing to have these thoughts mean about you and who you are? Why?
3. Create neutral thoughts around these areas
Don’t try right out of the gate to start thinking abundantly about something that is a big struggle for you, first start out with a neutral thought: I am working on my weight (not a negative thought: I should lose weight) and then repeat this to yourself everyday, ALL DAY until it becomes your truth.
4. Create positive affirmations around these areas
Once the neutral thought becomes your truth start to work towards changing it to an abundant thought: I am the perfect weight, I am perfect the way I am, I love my body. If you started with this step you may never get there because you would have a hard time believing it. Start neutral and work your way up.
5. Give freely
Want an abundant mindset? Give abundantly! Want more money: give more money. Want more time: give of your time. Want more love: love freely. Want more praise and recognition: give praise. It is hard to be in a scarcity mindset when you are giving.
6. Get organized
When you don’t feel abundant or good about yourself or life in general it may mean you are not in order. The simple process of getting your possessions, your time, your finances, and your documents better organized does a lot to cultivate an abundance mindset. By getting organized, you begin to see how many things and how much time you actually already have in your life.
A Final thought:
Love yourself through the process. It takes time to change your mindset. Just remember that thoughts are choices and you can change them!