The One Thing Keeping You Stuck in Life

Does this sound familiar? You feel stuck in life. You are in a rut. Maybe you come home at night feeling drained by the daily grind and you can’t bear to admit that you are just going through the motions, instead of living a life that lights you up. Or you climb into your car in the morning, coffee in hand, kids in tow, feeling exhausted and down, and then you glimpse your reflection in the review mirror and think: who is this person? What is this life? I want so much more…

It is time to take stock of your values.

You might think this sounds crazy but hear me out!

The number one reason Gutsy women like you feel stuck is because you are not living in alignment with your Core Values. Understanding and identifying your personal Core Values is an important part of understanding yourself. Our values are extensions of ourselves, they define us. When we are disconnected from our values (or unaware of them), our beliefs and our ideas become disconnected from our actions and our emotions.

Having clearly defined values creates a sense of purpose because values serve as a guide to decision making and provide the basis for fulfillment. Having clearly defined values and taking action from those values, or to honor those values, is the foundation for a fulfilled life.

What is a value exactly?

The Merriam Webster definition is:

The regard that something is held to deserve the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

I would go even farther and say that values are unique to an individual. An individual can share values with others, such as a family, community, or group, but each individual holds a ‘list’ of values unique to themselves. Customs and morals, by contrast, are beliefs about what is right and wrong, and involve a collective community or cultural code of conduct rather than a unique value.

A value holds worth. It is something that internally you feel is worthy of your time, energy, and attention.

Every moment of the day, whether you’re aware of it or not, you are making decisions about where you focus your time, energy, and attention. There’s an infinite number of things you could be doing with your time, energy, and attention, and each moment you make a choice to focus on one thing over the thousands of others you are making a value-laden decision.

The truth is, our behavior follows our values and thus our values are reflected in the way we choose to spend our time, energy, and attention.

Many of you might say “Wait a minute! I know what my values are!” and I did too, but those were Topical Values, not Core Values.

What is a Topical Value, you ask? A general subject of value, such as family, time, or honesty.

I’m talking about Core Values: a word that inspires action, thought, and emotion.

To get to the core of your values you need to get curious and ask some important questions like:

– When am I at my best?

– What gives me strength?

– What was a peak experience, what did I feel to make it happen?

– What is a fond memory about this Topical Value? What did it feel/sound/smell/taste/look like?

– What was it about that experience that remains so important to me?

– Who was I being in that moment?

– What are the core characteristics of these values?

– What are the feelings and characteristics that I draw upon when experiencing those values?

For years I felt stuck. I could never quite put my finger on what my problem was. I tried goal setting, shifting my mindset, side hustles, and hobbies, but I could never quite shake that feeling of mediocrity; of living a ho-hum life, of being stuck.

Then I learned how to uncover my Core Values and everything in my life shifted.

That may sound dramatic, but it was actually quite simple. I realized that the things I value most, the feelings, actions, mindsets that make me feel the most alive and fulfilled were not at all what I thought and that is why I felt stuck.

I thought family was important, so I tried to make time to be with them as much as possible. But what I really valued was connection and presence with them, not just more time.

I valued helping others. So I spent years spinning my wheels ‘helping’ others and was left feeling unfulfilled and even drained. But what I really valued about helping others was the grit, growth, and connection it affords me and those I serve. So just ‘helping others’ was not going to make me feel fulfilled unless I was doing it in alignment with my values.

I understand how you feel. You feel out of focus and stuck in the daily grind. You can’t bear to admit that you are just going through the motions, instead of living life. You thought that marriage, and adulthood, and kids would be different than this…you thought you would be different. But one day you woke up and realize you don’t really even know what you want or what direction to go anymore, you just feel stuck but you know you want more.

Instead of feeling stuck in life and rolling over in bed imagine feeling amazing as you smash the alarm in the morning ready to face your day because you know who you are and what you want and you know how to get out of your rut and unstuck to live a life that lights you up.

You can get unstuck. You just need to identify your Core Values.

You can get out of this rut. You can be excited about where your life is heading. You just need some clarity! And I am here to help- Are you ready to talk?!

LET'S TALK